insomaniacal day

Here is my day so far, and it's only 10:30 am:

It started around 3am when as has become my wont in recent weeks, I woke and looked at my bedside clock. The insomnia that has plagued me lately is making me extremely grouchy, and my baseline grouch level is probably much higher than yours, so I'm pretty much unapproachable these days. The increasing doses of 5-HTP still aren't helping (I'm up to 150mg before bed).

Yes, this is my current excuse for failing to post here more often.
Bite me.

Unfortunately, on this occasion, Mr. Squarepeg was also awake, suffering from the dryness in the air, and his snuffling and movement and blanket-pulling were hampering my attempt to get back to sleep.

He got up to find a package of tissues and blow his nose. Then I got up to pee. I never used to pee in the night, but since I'm awake, why not?

He complained. I complained. He fell asleep. I brooded and tossed and turned and stretched my aching legs in our too-narrow bed. Finally, at about 4:30 I got my discman and settled into my waves-on-the-beach sounds. By 5:30 I had finally dozed off.

I woke up at 7, the time I usually get up, and felt too much physical anguish to move. I dozed again until 7:30 when Mr. Squarepeg went to wake young ms. who still hadn't stirred. She came for a cuddle, despite the late hour and my grouchiness. I really didn't want to get up, but thinking about the crap she would eat if I didn't make her a sandwich motivated me to crawl out of bed and drag myself to the kitchen. I made her instant oatmeal and a pastrami & lettuce sandwich on a whole wheat bagel.

I asked Mr. Squarepeg to transfer the laundry in the washing machine into the dryer, and while I was preparing the breakfast and lunch, shouts of "Oh NOoooo!" emanated from the laundry room. I ran to see what disaster had befallen us, praying it wasn't a flood. For some reason, the water had not emptied during the spin cycle and it poured onto the floor when my luckless husband opened the door. Standing there in the puddle, in his socks, with a full bucket of dry floor rags right behind him, he wailed, "What do I do?!" ooof.

I did not contain my impatience.

Returning to the kitchen, I dispensed with the breakfast and lunch and got Ms. Squarepeg out of there to collect herself for school. I have found her much more cooperative this week, having instituted a new system wherein she gets credits (printed on paper, like monopoly money) for just doing what she should, i.e. getting up by 7:15, not forgetting anything when she leaves, doing homework, tidying her room, etc., and can redeem them for privileges like TV, computer, or even extra money.

Somehow, she blew it completely today. Didn't get up by herself, didn't tidy the room, didn't leave on time, and then when she was already late, she told me she needed to print a homework assignment that she wanted me to proofread first -- an assignment she did a week ago, which I had already given her comments on that she'd ignored. It was ridiculous, got an argument started about her irresponsibility about the homework, and required using the printer which we were having some trouble with. On top of that, she thought the computer wasn't on, and turned it off [the wrong way] thinking she was turning it on. So then we had to wait precious minutes while it started up again. And then we fumbled around getting the printer online, but finally it worked.

And 10 minutes after she left, I saw her lunch still sitting on the kitchen table. Aaaargh.

I checked the washing machine, turned the dial till it went into spin again, emptied it, put stuff in the dryer, and optimistically put in a fresh load to wash.

Went to get ready for ##$%@$%$%work which has become more and more unbearable with its intolerable drive and long hours, and looked like shit in anything I put on. What's the use, too tired to care, even my hair sucks with exhaustion.

Drag myself to car, drive to work trying to stay in my lane and keep eyes open at 100-120 KPH. One good thing about being late for work is that the traffic is much lighter and requires less focus.

Am sitting now at desk, too tired to go to lunch or do any work. My boss was forced to bring her 4-yr-old to work for a couple of hours, so she's in Mommy Mode.

I'm on cruise control. But not in a good way.