that's one giant step for consumer rights

Three weeks into my return from my 2-yr. sojourn abroad, my lovely Krups espresso machine, 10 years old, blew a hole in itself and bit the dust. Time to upgrade.

Unfortunately, Krups is now nowhere to be found. Instead, DeLonghi reigns supreme, as it did in Canada. I find their product to be far inferior to Krups, but I guess they won the marketing war. (Italian vs. German name I'm sure had nothing to do with it. Likewise, modern throwaway times.)

I checked all the purveyors of espresso machines in the area, including one on sale at our new huge grocery store, where they feature the odd appliance, just like they do at Loblaws. It was the simplest version, the latest generation of what I bought in Toronto, sadly also DeLonghi but cheap at C$85, incl. tax . Too bad I didn't just go for it. Instead, I was greedy and went for the more sophisticated model at $140 (same price as the old one was 10 yrs. ago, but supposedly superior).

The machine was infuriating. Sure, you can fill up a water tank with more water than you need and keep making espressos for your guests (what guests?) all night long, BUT: you have to wait HALF AN HOUR, according to the instructions, for the machine to heat up! (Hel-looo? Anybody got a spare half hour in the morning?) Never mind that the salesgirl stunned me with the information that you get coffee out of this machine in 20 seconds! (Yeah, AFTER you wait the half-hour!) And the filter holds only enough coffee for one cup at a time, so you have to keep emptying the grounds for each cup (so sorry Mr. DeLonghi, but 2 of us want coffee). And the frother doesn't work anywhere near as well as the simpler model did. Major disappointment.

Unfortunately, in this country, once money changes hands, it very rarely changes back. I've never seen it happen. Replacements are offered in the case of defective merchandise, not refunds. But "dissatisfaction with product"? [insert merry chortle here] Take a store credit, if you're lucky. What, you tried it out and now you want to return it? What planet are you from? Like Tony says, "F'geddabuddit."

I was determined, however, not to live with this machine for 10 years -- not that I expected a DeLonghi product to last more than 2 (my last one AND the one I got my sister both started malfunctioning within a year after purchase). So I called the store and began my attack. The strategy of beginning my onslaught with a phone call was, I thought, a key element. I would start to break down their resistance before they could even see who they were dealing with (theory: I sound more intimidating than I look). It was the old me, the aggressive, feisty, big-guns-first bulldog in action. The woman heard that I'd already used the machine, and immediately responded there was nothing to be done, but when I didn't give in she said, Bring in the machine and we'll have a look.

This was okay for a start; I had a foothold. I called another branch of the chain, thinking I was getting the head office, but just got another salesman. He told me the name of the person to deal with at the store I bought from, and with this information I called my store back and insisted on speaking with that person. Sorry, he's out of the country till next week; what's the problem? When I restated the problem, she put someone else on the phone, the same salesgirl, in fact, who had sold us the machine. I start to get the feeling that this very girlish young person may actually have some clout. I restate my case, and she sounds like she's relenting, and repeats that I should bring it in and she'll have a look.

Picking up my husband for backup (theory: two unhappy customers more difficult to resist than one), I took my re-packed machine (yes, I'd cleverly saved the carton and all packing) back to the store and marched in to find our 4-foot-10 salesgirl. I launched into my tirade again, quieter though this time. She was willing to exchange the machine for a different model, but they didn't have anything I was willing to take another chance on. I told her I was sorry I hadn't bought the cheap one from the supermarket (right next door, in fact, steps away).

Apparently I'd succeeded in softening the target sufficiently. She unpacked the machine to make sure all the parts were accounted for, and began filling out a form. She said to me, "I'm going to cancel the sale and you can go buy the one you wanted at the supermarket." I swear this is a true story. She even added, "We never do this."

I was dumbfounded at my accomplishment. Merchants in Israel never give anything more than a credit for returned goods, the best outcome I reasonably could have hoped for in this case, considering that the product was no longer saleable after I'd used it. (Not a satisfactory outcome, but the best of a bad situation.) This was a very satisfying victory, and one which gave me a feeling of greater hope and optimism for life in this strangely famous backwater of a country.

Okay, we didn't exactly get the money in our hand. If we'd paid by Visa, she would have credited our Visa, but we paid by cash, which she couldn't return on the spot. She said we'd receive a check by mail in 10 days. That is to say, they'll mail it 10 days from next Sunday, in other words about 3 weeks.

That's right: they told me the check's in the mail. And yet I remain optimistic.