bummed, totally utterly

I am really having a hard time finding the energy or spare moments to write here now. At this moment I'm stealing a few minutes in the office at the end of the day, just before tackling the horrid commute home. My boss has left, my colleagues have left, and finally no one is asking me to do one more thing.

It has been a hellish month since returning from my [best ever] holiday in Prague -- good thing I took it when I did. Little did I know how much I would need the memories of it now. My colleague and I are just one and a half people in terms of time at work (she's only half-time), plus I still know (and care?) so much less than she does, it's ridiculous.

So maybe it's more like one and a quarter.

In any case, this colleague does more in her half-time than I do in full-time, and I've told her for months she's not allowed to have any more babies (she's got 5 kids already, for god's sake) because I'd be up shit's creek if she took maternity leave.

So guess who I just found out is pregnant? Yep, five months already, in fact. Who knew? Two months after I arrived (7 months ago), I'd been eyeing her huge belly and asked if she was pregnant, and she said no, it was just the baby fat from all the other pregnancies, and she was trying to lose it. So since then, I've just assumed that the big belly under her loose clothes was fat. I was pretty shocked to get the news from my boss yesterday, and I've been in a black hole ever since. Today I had the gall to ask her if she had been trying to get pregnant or if it just happened, and she immediately informed me that that was a very rude question. Yeah, I can be self-involved jerk. I'm not sure if everyone would think that was rude, or it's just because she's British, but of course I was embarrassed and apologized. Shit. (Feel free to express an opinion.)

Our boss, lord love her, is a great "manager" but not exactly a person who can do anything besides "manage" -- i.e. nag other people to do things (and protect us from scary monsters). In fact, she's more of a time-waster. Every time she comes to drop herself down in the chair beside me these days, ready to bend my ear about her personal life for half an hour, I suddenly need to pee. I think she's starting to get the message.

I really need some more R&R. I'm holding on for the October holidays, just three weeks away ... not a single full work-week in October! Sweeeeeeeeet.