just checking in ... finally

so. anybody bored with cats yet? -- my cat, that is.
though he be witty, urbane, and bawdy... still, he doesn't really compare to thoughtful introspection or even banal reports on my headaches or angst-filled, middle-aged life, does he?

of course, it's healthy to take a break from angst every once in a while, too. and my cat is a good way to do that. he's very attached to me, and makes way less noise than the other two people I live with. my daughter has even gotten to noticing how I escape to the bedroom and just let the cat come and cuddle with me, when I can't bear any more 12-year-old nagging, demanding, and complaining. it's true, I don't give her enough attention -- but there's never been enough attention to go around, since she's a bit of a bottomless pit, and I do need to pace myself.

this is especially true now, as a full-time jobnik. yes, I've survived the first month and have received the first paycheck -- I may hate the working life, but I'm paid net-after-everything (including the car + all its expenses) what many working-poor are offered gross (before any deductions) -- or bruto, as they say here. reminds me of what a brutish life working is. and frequently nasty. but certainly not short enough -- the nine and a half hours a day are killers for me.

I really tried to get to the gym one evening this week. wednesday, I believe it was. but then I realized I would only get there about 7:45pm and that I'd forgotten to wear my contacts that day anyway, and I really hate working out with glasses, so I just went home and took advantage of the quiet apt. because mr. S had taken the kid for a quick visit to his parents in tel aviv. I got to come home to peace. again I wonder how people with more kids keep their sanity.

thursday I tried again to go to the gym after work. but the mall, where the gym is situated, beckoned like the siren. I hadn't been shopping properly since starting to finally earn some money, and a fix would be VERY nice. too bad I was dragging my leaden gym bag around while browsing the racks. but still managed to put a noticeable dent in the credit card, finally finding the elusive pair of jeans -- stretchy enough (if there's no lycra, fuggedaboudit), and just low-waisted enough without being too low -- I'd been trying to find since last summer. shopping has become that hard -- I have no stamina for it anymore. also found a couple of pairs of pants on sale for the kid, who's grown so much that my perception was off and I bought the wrong size! but I was able to switch them the next day, so she's pleased. good thing she doesn't know those jeans I bought are boys' jeans -- she'd never wear them if she knew, and they are pretty baggy on her. maybe too baggy, actually. they may end up in the charity box...

I've lost a lot of my blogging lust now that my time is at such a premium. blogging simply means that there are other things that never get done. books and newspapers that don't get read; piles of mess that get higher instead of tidied up, salads and other time-consuming healthy choices that don't get made, a copywriting course I'm trying to do by correspondence, and my crucial daily hour of meditation -- the one thing I'm truly maintaining my discipline on because I believe that my mental health depends on it. on the other hand, blogging is my only thin wedge into the writing life right now (no, technical writing does NOT qualify!) so it does have no small purpose.

anyway, it's a rainy saturday. I'm signing off -- am feeling quite rotten with another headache since yesterday, slept badly with, and woke up with -- and going back to bed. pls forgive lack of caps and any typos; haven't got the strength to proofread today.