purim downer

First of all: didn't get drunk.

Wish I did. But at the end of a long week, I was just too tired to want to.

The company's annual Purim party was Thursday nite, and it took me most of the weekend to get over the disappointment.

Damn it, I wish I wasn't so sensitive. Like a child, I build up expectations that are rarely fulfilled, and then I shlump around until I recover.

Like they say: The journey is more satisfying than arriving at your destination. I got great creative pleasure putting my costume together, and spent more than I should have on accessories to go with my floor-length sleeveless black dress: long black wig (over my short blondish hair), metal-studded belt and choker, leather whip, and tall black boots. And I spent an hour doing dramatic white-face and dark-eye makeup, hoping to look fairly spooky. See picture below.

And I did get a kick out of blowing my work mates away. Those who know me were completely floored by my costume, and I repeatedly had people bursting into amazed and delighted laughter when they found out who I was -- they absolutely didn't recognize me -- but the costume judges (who were not from our company and didn't know any of us) completely overlooked me. They went around putting tags around the necks of people they considered "contenders" and I was pointedly ignored. I guess because they didn't know what I really look like normally, they couldn't appreciate how great my costume was. Instead, they seemed to be looking for the home-made and relatively original ideas. I had heard that they give some valuable prizes for the best costumes, so my efforts had more than one agenda. It was a huge blow to my ego being shut out like that.

On top of which, I had been looking forward to a night of dancing, but in the two hours we were there, no one danced. Instead the whole area of what should have been the dance floor of this downtown club was being used for casino games of all kinds, not the kind of entertainment that interests me in the slightest. I was glad Mr. S got a chance to meet some of the people I work with (he was favorably impressed by their friendliness) and that they got to meet him. Other than that, and the admiring comments I got on my getup, the evening was pretty much a washout for me. We were bored and left after two hours of standing around with my feet killing me.

With those damn boots, even if I had waited till the dancing started (about 11:30), I wouldn't have been able to.

My dark side, usually well hidden, often emerges at Purim.