my nasty addiction

Gulp.

Shalom, shmi SquarePeg v'ani blogoholisteet. Hi, my name is SquarePeg and I'm a blogoholic.

"Shalom SquarePeg!"

That's how I imagine it would go if there was a Blogolics Anonymous group here in the burg.

It's true I've been an Internet addict for a long time, but the illness has ramped up drastically in the past few months with my initiation into the blogosphere. Recently, I've felt like my blog-surfing was spinning out of control, with every link leading to another blogroll that carried me deeper into cyberian hypnosis. I stop to snack -- something trans-fat-rich, easily opened and nibbled at the computer -- but not to cook. I growl at my daughter when she comes looking for dinner. I refuse to take my hand off the mouse or my eyes from the screen.

My husband has started a new game: He comes up beside me and puts his hand over my mouse-hand and wiggles the mouse, as if to say this is the only way to attract my attention.

But two days ago, the malady spiked dangerously into the next level. Because on December 26, 2004, I suddenly discovered BlogExplosion. And if you're reading these words, the odds are very good that you have too.

There's probably a whole lot more addictive stuff out there, but right now BlogExplosion (BE) looks to me like the Internet's crack cocaine, and I'm hooked bad.

This is how it works, for those few readers of mine who have managed, so far, to resist the temptation to get high on this nasty stuff: You go to BlogExplosion.com; you sign up your blog; you click on Surf Member Blogs. That's all you have to do, and from that moment on, every click gets you a new, often amazing blog displayed on your screen. These are great blogs, many of which I've "blogmarked" (saved like Favorites to view later), many of them with gorgeous designs that leave the free Blogspot templates like mine eating dust.

But that's just the beginning.

If you wait 30 seconds to click for a new blog, you earn BE credits that automatically send other BE surfers to YOUR blog. So, the more you click to see others, the more hits you get. AND there's a page where you can check this instantly: how many people have actually visited you through BE, how many have blogmarked you, and whether they've left comments or rated you. Yesterday, 70 people viewed my site that otherwise never would have! AWESOME!

Sure, lots of people think I suck, but once in a while someone sticks around for a page or two, and a couple have left comments. I never know when that will happen, but when it does, it's a big rush.

And of course, the biggest lesson we learned from Pavlov and his dogs about behavioral modification is that random reinforcement is the surest way to entrench a pattern of behavior.

Naturally, I could quit any time. But I don't want to!

I love reading the thoughts of other writers, especially those living completely different experiences, and knowing they're reading mine. This addiction, like all addictions, is filling a need -- the need to connect in a life of too few connections. Until I get a job offer, this is my best idea for "getting a life". It may be as transient as pouring water into a hole on a sandy beach, but at least there are no calories ( ... ok, there are when I run for snacks... ) and I'm not hurting anyone but myself ( ... ok, maybe my neglected family, not to mention my own writing ... ) but there are worse ways to kill time while waiting for the phone to ring, right?

Can't a miserable job-hunter get a little sympathy here?

Oy, I suppose I could cut down a little.

Tomorrow.